Deciding to open your home to a child in care is a massive step for any family. You have probably spent months sitting through training sessions and drowning in paperwork, but your own kids might still be scratching their heads about what this actually means for them. Getting them ready before a new face walks through the door is vital for creating a happy, blended household.
Feeling a bit of a wobble is completely normal. The trick is to get your sons and daughters involved from the get-go. You want them to feel secure in their spot in the family while helping them understand what the new arrival might be going through.
Chat About It Early On
Kids pick up on everything. If you wait until the eleventh hour to explain what is happening, they might feel anxious or left out. Start dropping the idea into conversation well in advance. Keep it simple and right for their age. For little ones, you might just say that some children need a safe bed for a bit. With teenagers, you can have a proper deep dive into why a young person might need care. Let them ask anything they want, even the awkward stuff, and give them honest answers without sharing private details.
Get Them Involved in the Prep
Giving your kids a job to do is a brilliant way to make them feel good about the changes. Let them help sort out the spare room. Maybe they can pick a duvet set, choose a teddy bear for the bed, or make a welcome card. If you are putting together a box of essentials like toothbrush and snacks, ask them what they think should go in. When they help get the house ready, they stop being bystanders and start being part of the team.
Stick to What You Know
A big worry for children is that they will get pushed to the sidelines or that life will go topsy-turvy if you are fostering a child, or even fostering siblings. While things will be different, try to keep the main stuff the same. If Friday is for fish and chips, keep it that way. If you always read a bedtime story, make sure that still happens. Remind them that while the family is getting bigger, your love for them isn’t shrinking. Keeping things familiar acts like a safety blanket when everything else feels new.
Talk About Stuff and Space
Sharing mum and dad is tough, but sharing bedrooms or toys can be even harder. Have a chat about what is for everyone and what is just theirs. It is totally fine for your child to have special things they don’t have to share. Set those rules early so they don’t feel like their space is being raided. At the same time, talk about why it is important to respect the new child’s privacy, as they might turn up with very little of their own.
Pulling Together
At the end of the day, you are doing this as a team. By listening to how your kids feel, whether they are excited or a bit grumpy about it, you are building a strong foundation. It won’t always be smooth sailing, but with plenty of chat and patience, your children can become the best support system for a new sibling. Watching your lot adapt to include someone else is something really special to witness.
